For those in their 30′s, you’ll understand. For those who are older, you’ll probably pay no mind, and for those younger than 30, well…prepare to be schooled on the most badass kung-fu / ninja / karate / Choo-choo and woo-woo movie stars of all-time. Behold:
#5 JIM KELLY
He can say “Ninja” because he’s black
If you know Jim Kelly from anything, it’s his role as the token black guy in Enter the Dragon (shown left). He eventually got all killed in the movie, but was awesome the whole way through…nearly upstaging Bruce Lee himself as the most wanted to see character on-screen. His success in Enter the Dragon convinced some fat American directors that he was the Black equivalent of Bruce as far as the martial arts movie movement was concerned, so they decided to make him his own star in such movies as:
Blackbelt Jones 1 & 2
Black Samurai
Blaxploitation
Three the Hard Way
…I’m not 100% sure that last one isn’t a porno…anyway, you get the theme of his movies…kick ass and be black.
He had decent punches and kicks that came accompanied with that eighties “WHAH-THACK!” with every blow. Coincidentally, every “WHAH-THACK!” was followed by a wiseassy - and of course, black themed – crack. If you’re good at talking trash in any aspect of your life, you probably got it from Blackbelt Jones.
BEST QUOTE FROM BLACKBELT JONES:
Pinky: “Who the fuck hit me?”
Black Belt Jones: “Batman, muthafucka!”
INTERESTING FACT: Like many you’ll see on this list, the martial arts movies mostly died out, so careers sunk. Jim is no exception. Realizing this, he applied himself and is currently trying his hand at becoming a professional tennis player. That’s 100% serious. “WHAH-THACK!”
#4 BOLO YEUNG
Bricks no hit back
Bolo Yeung is what Godzilla made to get back at Japan. You remember this gigantic Asian from such films as Enter the Dragon (again), and Bloodsport.
Bolo has been a staple in martial arts films for decades, and he alway plays the bad guy with a bad attitude with badder-ass moves. I mean look at him…he can’t play a good guy….not exactly the face the damsel in distress wants to see when she’s freed…she wants rescued not raped.
He always seemed to move methodically like he knew what you were going to do before you did, or until he got you into some sort of squeezy position where he would just use that enormous Asian strength to crush you.
His ass kicking is so good that he hardly has any lines in his movies. Take for example Enter the Dragon, he says “HRWRAH!” whenever he is spoken to, then just kills people.
BEST LINE FROM ENTER THE DRAGON: “HRWRAH!” ….like 3 or 4 times.
INTERESTING FACT: Bolo got his breakout role in Bloodsport because of his actions in Enter the Dragon. He got his spot on Enter the Dragon because his new friend Bruce Lee invited him to co-star in it. He met his friend Bruce Lee while shooting a commercial for Winston Cigarettes.
#4 CHUCK NORRIS
The greatest ginger ever
Ok, ok…yes, you know Chuck Norris. No, I’m not going to go over his “facts”…you can read them here if you’d like. I choose instead to blow your mind with real facts about ol’ Chuck:
First of all, as of this writing, he’s 72 years old and still doing infomercials for some weird bench-press-pullup thing while still looking 50 as ever.
Secondly, he invented his own martial art named Chun kuk do. Normally I’d go off on what a bunch of horseshit that is, but allow me to explain that Chuck has trained under Ed Parker, Gene LeBell, Bruce Lee (which he starred with in Way of the Dragon) and the Machado family.
For those “in the know”, that’s a pretty sweet pedigree. For those that have no idea who those guys are, having that kind of training by that group of people is the equivalent to eating the best steak ever and getting simultaneously handjobbed by Marilyn Monroe and Jennifer Aniston while getting photographic proof of aliens all at the same time.
Chuck has more black belts that you can count, and they’re mostly from the people who invented whatever the belt is in, and he has been in movies ranging from kung-fu to walking around Texas kickin’ ass with wranglers and roundhouse kicks. He’s the Delta Force, man….the Delta Force, and he tells it like it is…
BEST QUOTE ABOUT REAL LIFE: “Some of the most miserable people I know are some of the richest people in America. They are the most miserable people I’ve ever seen” ~ Chuck Norris
INTERESTING FACT: Coincidentally, Chuck Norris does live in a round house. (Come on, I had to put one in there).
#2 SHO KOSUGI
“I’m here for the position of ‘Boot-to-ass coordinator’”
My favorite 3 films about ninjas in the 80′s are Enter the Ninja, Revenge of the Ninja, and Ninja III: The Domination. Sho Kosugi was a ninja in every single one. He was the ninja of the 80′s.
Sho wasn’t just limited to ninja movies, however, he also played bit parts in The Bad News Bears Go To Japan and uncredited role in The Godfather: Part II. In fact, he was such a badass that he played himself in Ninja Assassin and Flash Challenger. How awesome do you have to be to get to the point where someone hires you to play yourself and yourself’s part is a ninja?
Sho also had this deal that I always loved called Ninja Theater. He would show little kids how to use throwing stars and extremely sharp swords against enemies. After the day’s lesson, he would bow respectfully to the viewer as if to say, “You’re welcome, child, now run forth and kill”…here’s a little taste:
…and in case you didn’t have all the sweet weapons that Kosugi had…you know, in case of an attack from ninjas that look like their moms dressed them, you could order them through Kung-Fu magazine…most weapons sponsored by – you guessed it – Sho Kosugi. In short, Sho made movies that turned little kids into ninja fanatics, then sponsored the weapons for kids to order, then came up with an instructional theater so they could kill correctly and efficiently. BOW TO YOUR MASTER!
BEST MOVIE QUOTE FROM NINJA III: THE DOMINATION -“Only a ninja…can destroy a ninja”
INTERESTING FACT: Sho came back for a brief stint in the 90′s with a Ninja-fitness program. It had a couple of episodes before being cancelled after people realized that it didn’t show you how to disappear in puffs of smoke or jump over walls.
#1 BRUCE LEE
“Stupid air, I got you now”
If you don’t know who Bruce Lee is, you probably have trouble figuring out how to squeeze a boob as well.
Bruce Lee brought martial arts to mainstream America. His style (Jeet Kune Do) became hugely popular to movie stars and the masses alike. He’s the one that taught us to “be like wataaaa!!”.
Bruce caught a lot of shit from Hong Kong because he came over here to spread the secrets of the martial arts to…well…white people, basically. Over time and over fame, Hong Kong accepted him once again as their main claim to fame. He’s so renowned that he falls into an almost mythical figure…I mean, EVERYONE knows who he is.
His most famous movie, Enter the Dragon has spawned many famous rip-offs and is well-known for the director telling Bruce to slow down as the cameras couldn’t catch his speed…really. Bruce, having never been told to slow down, was unable to. So they sped the cameras up during his fight scenes and still had a hard time.
His other most noteworthy claim to fame was his one-inch punch. he would literally hold his fist one inch away from someone’s chest and be able to blow them off their feet and onto their backs without pulling back. You can see that here.
The thing that separates Bruce from the rest is that he wasn’t just a movie star that had some training. He was an innovator and his movies – as awesome as they are – couldn’t hold a candle to watching Bruce give demonstrations of push-ups on one thumb, powerful side kicks, his one-inch punch, and people trying to spar with him…check it out:
Notice what he’s doing there? Stopping the knee with low kicks? Isn’t that what has become popular in MMA in the last 10 years? Bruce was doing it 40 years ago.
BEST QUOTE FROM ENTER THE DRAGON: “Not thinking, not yet dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When my opponent expands, I contract; when he contracts, I expand. When there is an opportunity, ‘I’ do not hit, ‘it’ hits all by itself”
INTERESTING FACT: Bruce never liked to kick high. He felt it left you vulnerable and the risk wasn’t worth the reward. So until moving to the U.S., he rarely kicked high (notice he doesn’t in the sparring video). Chuck Norris taught him high kicks and he used them in his movies for the “flashiness”. Ironically enough, he is well-known for his high kicks
K3 to R2; KP1 to Q3; Q2 to R1 SUBMIT-mate (that was stupid)
So you hear all the time that Jiu Jitsu is like chess….I agree to an extent, as long as you’re referring to strategy. But if you think about it, the rules are fairly different.
For instance, I was in the chess club in 4th grade (shut up) and I was always warned about bringing my queen – the most powerful piece – out too early. This isn’t like Jitz. If my best move is there, I’m taking it, I’m not waiting to bring it out later when I have backup…why would I do that? I should attempt it, and if it doesn’t work, I will combo into something different, or as Rickson put it, “flow with the go.” If I wait to come up with a backup in case it doesn’t work, my ass is kicked…and if there’s two things I don’t like, it’s realizing I’m out of milk after I pour a bowl of cereal and getting my ass kicked.
I liken Jitz to growing up, and I think it’s a much better comparison, and everyone can relate. Look at it this way; you start off in life getting babied through your learning process while having a tight eye on you to make sure you’re doing things right. As you progress in life, you learn to ride a bike, throw a frisbee, throw a baseball and gut a fish (techniques). As you continue growing, you learn not only how to ride your bike, but how to “pop a wheelie”. You just don’t throw a baseball, but now you have a repertoire of pitches – curves, sinkers, fastballs…etc. This is refining your techniques.
That’s how we roll
Of course, you’ll never forget these things as you get older, but in order to keep them clean you have to come back to practice. This is progression, and this is Jiu Jitsu.
Here’s where levels/belts come into play…You know that guy that can do everything decent but isn’t great at any of them? He’s good for a pickup game of basketball, can tell you a little about WWII and has a favorite sports team in any sport. He’s the guy that comes into the gym to get his blue belt then quits right after. He wants to throw frisbees and baseballs and go fishing just to know how to do them.
Then there’s that guy they call the “Jack of all trades”. He’s the dude that women love because he can fix a car, landscape the yard, knows the answer to everything and could probably fly if given proper time to practice. He can name the players on all his favorite teams, can play any game of pickup ball and dominate, and can not only tell you a little about WWII, but he’ll tell you why turning points in the war occurred and how they could have been successful. He’s the man. He’s also the black belt. He doesn’t just try things out in life, he makes life his life.
But what about the strategy? I agreed earlier that chess is similar, but look at the big picture – How are you going to be successful in your life without skills, knowledge and technique? Bosses don’t want to know if you can do something, they want to know if you can do tasks better. They don’t want to hear that you found a problem, they want to hear that you found a problem and know how to fix it. They want your refined technique.
Well, this past April 26-29, 2012 was the seminar with Master Sylvio Behring and our belt grading with Hidden Valley MMA. I have to be honest and say that I’ve only missed one seminar with Master Sylvio since picking up BJJ, and this one was by far the best.
Thursday was training with the FBI and Police. Sylvio was demonstrating the progressive guard on a 270lb dude who was none-too-fat. The guy starts getting a little cocky and that ended for him with a tap out from kneebar from the Master himself. That pretty much set the tone for the whole seminar.
Friday was the instructor’s course, where Sylvio broke down how he wants his Jiu Jistu taught. Picture a room full of black belts practicing breakfalls and basic positions…that was pretty much it, and I was a huge fan. I think the basics are what make technical practitioners, so this day was actually very helpful. Also very humbling when you find out that stuff you learned from day one needed some tweaking…but hey, that’s why his belt is black and red and mine is purple.
YEP! Purple, baby. Saturday was the belt grading, student demonstrations and progressive guard with basic self-defense. John Valentine and I did a demonstration on the progressive guard and progressive guard pass for our purple belts. You can click here for the video. Julie “She Hulk” Winter and John A. John both got promoted to blue belt (their guards were great). Little Collin Campbell got to put on a personal demonstration for his orange belt, and many, many others from Hidden Valley MMA got stripe promotions.
John (L), The She-Hulk Herself, and Me
Oh, I almost forgot some of the really impressive promotions…Scottish Bill Closs (a Kodokan Judo black belt) was promoted to Behring Jiu Jitsu brown belt as well. As I told him afterwards, this made me feel better because he was technically a white belt in BJJ before that, and I hated getting submitted by a white belt. Being submitted by a brown sounds much better, so congratulations to Bill.
And our very own Professor Mike Hermosillo got his 1st degree on his Behring Jiu Jitsu black belt. Here’s something that I didn’t know that you may not either; when you get your black belt (not sure if this is just for Behring or all BJJ), you take an instructor’s course for your red bar. A year after that you get the two white stripes on either end for your “professor” status. Every three years after that, you get another stripe on the bar for “degrees”. So Mike is now a 1st degree, which is pretty awesome, it’s the first time I’ve seen him get promoted (and thrown) since I began at Hidden Valley. Very cool.
Master Sylvio explained on Saturday that his goal was to teach different techniques from now on at his seminars. I need to segway a bit here and say that the last 3 seminars I’ve been to have all been about the progressive guard, which is cool, but like anyone else, I want to learn some really awesome and tricky chokes and submissions. That being said, Master Sylvio’s goal is to do just that and leave the progressive to us to teach to the lower belts. Along with that, if the guard doesn’t look good and technical, it’s the instructor’s ass from here on out, and this allows him to teach all that tricky stuff we want to learn at the seminars. Sounds very structured, and extremely rad.
Me, Prof. Hermosillo, Kru Valentine
So the rest of Saturday consisted of Master Sylvio going through all of the instructors and having them teach their favorite techniques to all of the attendees. I apologize in advance for not remembering everyone’s name (first time I’ve met most of them), but there were some really good ones in there. My favorite was a variation of a clock choke from side control that is very tricky and has 3 different options for the finish. I’ll show you next time we roll.
Our goal on Saturday was to get through the progressive guard, show favorite techniques and get a little bit into sport Jiu Jitsu, although time ran short in the sport area due to promotions and demonstrations. I was absent on Sunday due to work commitments, but from what I hear the seminar picked back up with the sport portion of BJJ, then went right into a “roll-athon”. I really wish I could have made it for that…it was kind of like putting in all the work for a good meal and missing out on the flavor…but hey, sometimes life gets in the way.
Either way, the rest of the seminar was well worth the money. I suggest taking a Master Behring seminar if you’re going to take one. This was $150 for three 8-hour days, which is an extremely good price considering other 7th degree and above masters usually charge more than that for one. The instruction was top notch, techniques were beautiful, and getting thrown by the man is pretty decent in itself.
Tonight, April 20th, 2012, two woment meet in the cage. These two:
Yeaowza!
Since this is a satellite blog of Hidden Valley MMA, I’m permitted to say whatever the fuck I want…therefore:
Chaska O’Neil (L) vs. Julie Winter (R) is set to be a great fight. The weigh-in tonight was fantastic with both girls coming in under 130lbs.
Julie is one of my fighters, and I know her skills first-hand. I had met Chaska briefly, and she seemed very nice…almost too nice. I also saw her have a 44 minute grappling match at grappler’s quest so I know she’s got some skills. She is a good figher. I don’t think I’ve changed oil in my car and took over 44 minutes. The downside to that? Jules doesn’t take 44 minutes to finish someone…grappling or not..she doesn’t have to…could she? Absolutley. If you were to ask her if she’s ever had a match that long, she’d say, “why would I?” Indeed.
This is the first amateur cage fight for both women, and I’m very excited.
There are different feelings on how this fight will go…some think it will go to the ground instantly and some think it will be a jab and slugfest…I’m not going to tell you my opinion, so I guess you have to wait… If you’d like to see it first hand, I suggest you buy a ticket to STEELFIST fight night and check it out..otherwise I’ll blog the results here afterwards. My prediction? K.O. 2nd round by “She Hulk” Winter.
Well, if you’re an avid reader of this blog, you should know that John Valentine and I are testing in front of Master Sylvio Behring for our purple belts on April 29th. Sylvio once told me in a seminar that before a fight he was “always nervous never scared.” I’m scared.
That’s the weird thing – I don’t have to fight anyone. Roll? Yes, fight? No. Here’s the thing, and I’m sure every blue belt ready for promotion feels this way….it’s a PURPLE BELT. For those unfamiliar, it takes roughly a year or so for blue if you’re decent. Purple can take anywhere from 3 to 6 years with no experience…that’s fighting for 5 hours a week for over 1,000 days. In other words, to fail after 3 years would devestate me, and I’m not going to let that happen, no way. Am I nervous? Yes. Scared? Absolutely. To me, it’s like training for the olympics and falling just short or winning gold. To lose would be devestation, to pass would be elation.
When I got my blue belt I noticed that more people wanted to roll with me just to say they beat a blue belt…understandable, I did the same when I was a white belt. But purple is different. I started BJJ at Hidden Valley MMA in November of 2009. My goal was to get a stripe on my white belt. 3 months later, I got one, and it was awesome. My friends thought “big fuckin’ whoop”. Again, to me, it was progress. It was passing the first round cuts of high school baseball. It was to say that I had potential, nothing more and to wait for the second round.
The second round involved getting my Judo green belt. It was nice, but I loved the ground from the second I had “potential”…I wanted a blue belt. I wanted the ten dollar blue thing to hold up my pants. I wanted superiority and I wanted to be known. In October of 2010 I got it under Master Sylvio, and Professor Mike Hermosillo. Thus, the “target” was on my back. I had the blue belt reputation to uphold, and suddenly that anxiousness turned into a feeling of whether or not I could actually live up to it…call it a reality check. Did I get submitted by white belts? Yes, all the time. It’s not to say that I wasn’t worthy to hold the belt, but only that I had the “fundamentals of Behring BJJ” in my book. I did, so losing didn’t bother me. Mike always told me, “If you don’t tap during rolling, you’re doing something wrong.” I tapped, as they say, “early and often”.
But a month from now, John and I test together for purple. Purple was so far out of my goals when I started that it has become the little gold head that Indiana Jones was trying to steal in The Temple of Doom. If I knew how to spell “paraphamilia”, it’d be that.
Over the years Mike has been kind enough to let me teach, and has made me a technical man, and I listen to him and do what he says. I’ve fallen into a submissive when I roll. I trust his words and I do it and I win. Because of that, people in the gym look up to me and they almost expect me to win. It’s weight to carry, especially knowing that I’m not as good as they think. That being said, to fail a test in front of students would absolutely destroy me. For Sylvio to be unimpressed at my progression would embarrass Mike and humiliate me. I’m absolutely afraid of failing, even though I think that the promotion would be near impossible to fuck up at this point, I’m like Indy with the gold head…I’m blowing my fingers, estimating the weight, and I’m nervous until the moment I switch the weighted sandbag with the head….the moment I enter the “expert” ranks as some sites say.
I will be a purple belt, and I will impress, and if not given the opportunity to speak after, I’ll tell myself that I’m a product of everyone at the gym. Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion but my life hasn’t been kind to me, and this is what I have, and I’m throwing myself into it – but John and I aren’t the only ones….
Julie Winter is a 6 month trainee and amateur MMA fighter out of HVMMA. She puts in 20 hours a week minimum at the gym. She’s ready for blue. I talked to her tonight, she’s nervous. It’s a cycle. She’ll be incredible and like everyone else, she needs support, and HVMMA does that. Mike doesn’t let people quit…maybe that’s why being promoted there matters so much – Mike makes you what you thought you’d fail to be.
The triangle is one of those chokes in Judo and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu that everyone loves…unless you’re caught in it and you try desperately to “answer the phone” before taking an ill-planned nap. There are many reasons to love the triangle…putting someone to sleep…the minimal effort it takes to choke…the ability to look down and watch what you’re doing to someone as they flail like a fish out of water…all good reasons. BUT there are certain tips that I’ve been picking up on over the last couple of years that may help out some beginning students when applying the triangle-sleepy-time-chokey-choke…all directions are from the position of the illustration (right leg over shoulders):
#1 GET TO 90 DEGREES (CLOSE THE BACK-GAP)
See the blue guy and the pink…I guess - girl up there? I’m using that position as a reference. Right now she is at zero degrees to her target…note her right computer-generated leg across Mr. Blue’s shoulders – this is correct. The thing is, most people try the triangle without that leg across the shoulders…mainly because they don’t get to 90 degrees before throwing it up there. Here’s an example:
Stand facing a desk about waist high…now pick up your right leg and try to lay your leg across your body flat on the desk in front of you with the outside of your knee and ankle both touching the surface…you know, it the shape of the triangle…hurts like a mother doesn’t it?
NOW, try that same thing butleanyour upper body to the right…easier huh?
So its the same principal – in order to get that right leg across the shoulders, you have to move your upper body to the right. This, in turn will keep your leg more on top of their shoulders when you bring your body back to zero degrees (the position of that robot-chick up there).
#2 GET YOUR HIPS UP
Look at pink alien’s hips – they’re off the ground. Once that leg is across the shoulder, your next order of business is to hump their face…so to speak. Shoot your hips up to their face and pull down with that leg you just got across the shoulders. Nice and tight…like your mom in college (burrrrnnn)
#3 PULL THE ARM ACROSS
In regards to the man in the blue hue…His right arm is going aross his face – you want this. Sure, the pink thing is holding the back of his head, but equally as effective would be to hold the blue guy’s right arm across his own face and your hips. What this does is bring his shoulder up to his neck cutting off blood flow to that crucial carotid artery. Remember when instructed on how to escape the triangle you heard “answer the phone”? Well, answering the phone is getting that shoulder off of your neck…ipso-facto, pulling the arm across should sink it in…plus it’s hard to answer anything if they have a hold of your arm…unless you’re trying to answer Freddy Krueger’s questions in person (get it? you have to be asleep for that…burrrnnn).
#4 GET THAT OTHER LEG OVER AND TOE-UP
Your left leg now goes over your right ankle and you come back to zero degrees…this shit should be tight…but here’s how to make it tighter…when your left leg comes over your right, usually a flailing opponent will loosen the hold up a bit. This is where you point your right toes up. What this does is bring your legs and knees closer together. Think of your foot as a lever that brings everything together…which brings us to the most important:
#5 SQEEZE THE MUTHA-FUGGIN KNEES
When you get the triangle and you’re ready to have someone pass out between your legs like your mom after college (burrrn), squeeze your knees together…that’s where the choke is and a lot of people miss that. Remember the shoulder you pulled across? Well squeezing the knees shoves that in deeper and shoves the other carotid into your right thigh…this is the point where it feels like your head is going to explode when caught in it.
Sure, there are variations, this is just a list of tips that helped me, and can maybe help you. My personal favorite isn’t grabbing the head, but keeping the arm across my body using my right hand and using my left to hold their head down with my forearm and grab the outside of my right knee with my left hand and squeezing harder than a constipated John Candy. Result – awesome, and like a constipated actor, I don’t poop.
If you’ve ever heard the term “quicksand”, used in competition, you know what I’m talking about…you lose once, no big deal. Lose again, you think it’s just a bad couple of months…lose again…uh-oh…something is wrong…then you think instead of react and lose more. Then you can’t win. You, my friend, are stuck in the quicksand, and it’s a lonnnng way to sink.
My “trophy wall” was riddled with silver….no gold. And It’s no secret about me – before Saturday I lost my last 5 Brazilian Jiu Jitsu contests…yep, last FIVE. The human mind can take so many losses before you start telling yourself that you just aren’t good. What it needs is someone to tell you that you are. Professor Hermosillo knows this, and he does it. He prevents the black hole of loss from happening every day with new students, frustrated students, and even instructors.
My first loss, I was told it was the nerves
Second was my conditioning
Third was my grip
Fourth and fifth went in one ear an out the other because I didn’t want to hear it - I had sunk into the sand. What I remember though is Mike not getting mad or frustrated. He said, “we’ll just keep working at it”…calm as a cucumber…not angry or disappointed or embarassed. So we worked on it.
…and I won. I won gold…finally. Gold…it had become such a big mountain to reach in my mind that it was built up as the end-all be-all of ANY competition. Some people loseoccasiionally. Quicksandhad me losing all the time. And now I was out.
Having a hand raised is a hell of a lot better than watching the other guys having theirs up.
That wasn’t the best, though. The best is when your coach walks onto the mat, laughing and giving you a hug and saying “you did it.” That made me feel good and feel confident that Mike knows what he’s doing. It also makes me realize what a shot my confidence had been taking.
Sometimes fighters need a rope to pull them out of the deep, dark, grainy sand and get back on track. That’s what coaches do – they throw you the rope and help to pull when you decide to pull yourself out. That’s what mine did for me and what I hope I do for others. Being a coach, I can tell you, they know you lose and somewhat expect you to in order to get experience, but more often than not when they pull you out of the sand, they’re a lot happier to see your face and clean you off than you think.
Ok, so check this out, compliments of The Human Weapon:
I killa you
This is the Okuri-Eri-Jime. It’s my favorite choke. Note the grey guy with his left leg over the other grey guy’s waist. Also note the expression on the grey guy’s face. What you can’t see, is the grey guy’s left hand holding the grey guy’s left leg. I know, you’re confused. Just messin’ with ya, here is a more realistic depiction – minus aliens:
REACT TO ME!
This picture comes from grapplearts, and obviously shows an old man being choked by a girl. Depending on your old-mannedness, this could or could not be a good thing. Judging by this gentleman’s face, it’s bad. That’s how you know a choke is locked in and good; you make a face like a baby that just got served strained peas for breakfast. Usually it’s followed by some kind of deep, guttural ”aruglglghgh” sound as well.
This is my choke face
The Okuri-Eri-Jime (Bow and Arrow) is a beautiful choke. There is one aspect of a variation (how specific) that I love…again, see the old man being choked picture for reference. What I like about this is the spinal isolation. Note the woman’s left leg over the choking old man’s hip. This is serving as her fulcrum. Being blocked from view by his flailing arm is her left arm, most likely underhooking his leg. This curves his body. In case you haven’t noticed, moving your body when its curved doesn’t work. It’s like trying to have sex in the fetal position.
Anyway, now that the victim, I mean “uke” is isolated from movement, you’re free to choke. just grab onto his lapel with a thumb-in grip (you should already have this)and pull your elbow back. What isn’t shown in the picture is the right leg. I learned this choke by bringing the right leg over uke’s right shoulder and using it as leverage to “stretch them out”…in other words, using my ass muscle to push down while I pull up with the right arm…this is a technique that we refer to at Hidden Valley MMA as “ripping their head off”.
There is one problem with this choke; my desire to get it often leads me to give up a fantastic position. What I mean is that I’ll have someone’s back – hooks in and everything. Rather than go for the basic RNC or O-E-J (my new acronym for this), I’ll go directly for that “variation” with the spine isolation. Is it bad? Not really, it’s part of my game. What is bad, is that I’ve lost it at times and lost the back in doing so. I have to tighten that up. But now for the good - When you get this, that gurgling sound and laser-fast tapping from your opponent is a feeling only topped by two things: Winning the lottery and fetal-position sex.
What is rolling? Rolling is a way to develop your game in real world situations, that’s it. There are two kinds:
Educational roll: Rolling when the higher-level “roller” is helping you out
Rolling in general: Kicking ass
Here’s the difference:
I roll with white and new blue belts and feel them out. I’ll see where they’re lacking, and if they’re not, it’s a fight with 70% effort…flowing. I’ll tell them what they should have done and options that I’m aware of (although I obviously don’t know them all, but enough). I’ll tell them where I was weak or where I felt myself off-balance or options they had to get a dominant position on me. This helps both of us and this in an educational roll. Michael Hermosillo, our sensei at Hidden Valley MMA does these with me often. He’s a great man. He will let me move and get positions and find where I’m weak and continue to get me in that position. For instance, Mike is upwards of 300lbs and loves to get me in knee-in-belly. As you can imagine it hurts, but he’ll sit there and wait for me to either get out or ask a question. Point being, sitting in knee-in-belly isn’t good, no matter what his weight is, I should be able to get out. Do I appreciate it? Of course. Due to hundreds of Mike’s knee-in-belly, I double-dog-dare someone my weight to try it now. I may not be able to get out, but you’re going to have a bitch of a time keeping me there. Point being, my weak is now my strong. This is educational rolling.
Kicking ass: Here it is in a nutshell; If you’re the higher-belt, give the lower one respect for being a practitioner. At the same time, as Sensei Bill Closs told me once, “Give them the respect of kicking their ass.” I love it. If you’re rolling, you’re responsible for practicing your weak areas and relaxing and using pressure. At the same time, if you’re not making it difficult for the lower belt, you’re not doing anything for their benefit. There’s an old saying, “You get better by playing better people.” That’s absolutely true. The other blade of that double edge sword is that the lower belt may get frustrated and think they’re not good. After your roll its imparitive that you help their confidence and tell them what they did wrong and right. You may already know that this is called “Paying your dues”. Everyone does it from actors to athletes and its an integral part of jiu jitsu. Otherwise you end up looking like a cobra against a honey badger, or even worse, a mongoose….google it.
I’m not talking out of my ass either…Mike and Bill annihilate me. My neck and back and arms (and ass) take a whoopin’ daily. Why put myself through that? Because when I roll the next time, I’m better…period. They know that, and that’s why their belts are black. They don’t hate me, they’re not punishing me, they want me to be better and hopefully they think I am progressing. A crazy thing jiu-jistu is…you get your ass handed to you daily and your only worry is what the dude that kicked your ass thinks of you. I think its safe to say that its a unique breed that stays with it.
The point of this? The point is that when you roll, you roll for YOUR game. YOU always improve….if the other guy needs some help or pointers, tell him so, but afterwards if its a normal roll. Your confidence always needs a boost and they always need your help. In combination, your team or gym bringing home championships or making a fighter’s dreams become reality is the ultimate goal. Julie Stoll Winter (one of our fighters) is the next one in line for her dreams, and now she’s going through it. She’d tell you the same. I train her ground game a bunch, and what she doesn’t realize is that I have the same worries and insecurities she does…but I show her what I know, and I sure as fuck don’t go easy on her during normal rolls. She is going to win, and if she doesn’t, I’ll be there for her…as will Mike, Bill and John Valentine. The same way her husband, Aaron and her kids will be there for her…we’re family. She has heart, and I’m 100% she of all people won’t quit. Speaking of which…
After writing this I realized that I’ve lost my last 5 jiu jitsu matches. It’s disheartening…I want to win and I come close…I want to win bad. It’s not my heart, it’s not my skill…I don’t know what it is, but my trainers do, and if they don’t they’re looking for it and they’re going to fix it. And Mike or Bill, no matter how hard they may be on me sometimes, want me to win and they won’t give up on me. I hope they see something that I don’t. I know for a fact that it’s not their need to keep me at the gym…I know that. It’s the same thing you see at your gym – your sensei may be tough or beat your to a pulp sometimes but after a loss, they’re you’re family, they’re your best friend, all they want you to do is win and they won’t abandon you. God himself couldn’t pull them away from you in a time of need and reassurance. They’re all you have in a weak time…and that makes you stronger.
Ok ok, I jumped the gun, that’s the first portion of the PG, the part required for promotion to blue belt. That’s the part that teaches you how to keep someone at bay (at/in guard). The second part is the part required for purple (along with the first). This part is how to pass the s.o.b. that’s keeping you at bay.
*BOOM* headshot
NOT shown is the self-defense portion which is a whole new animal in and of its own, so we’ll get to that in a later post. Most people see the progressive guard and see it as that “useless” part of Behring Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It absolutley is not. For instance, my game is a solid for where I’m at. Does it need work? Of course, but now its more of beginning to combo and fine-tune what I know while picking up a new technique here and there. The PG isn’t like “kata” in karate…who ever kicked someone’s ass or prevented a burglary with “kata”? I’ve been to NAGA and actually used to progressive guard and PG pass.
Here’s the deal. If you knock someone down and their feet come up, what’s your first instinct beside to not get kicked in the money-maker? I wouldn’t have known either. The progressive guard and pass shows you what you should do to get by that guard and either attack or prevent attack, all the while saving those beautiful lips of yours to kiss your next relationship goodbye once they get jealous of your friends…but I digress…
Ouside of a barfight where the only outcomes are usually a one punch kinda-knockout or two drunk crazies closing their eyes and walking at each other with both arms swinging like propellers, you’ll probably be in a situation where once of you may end up on the ground. Think about it, if someone steals your wallet and trips and you come up on him, are you just going to leave while he’s on the ground waiting for you to make your move with legs-a-firin’? No way…that’s MY wallet…and God forbid if you just made off with my new sad box toy.
Everyone wants to eat me (think abouuuut it)
The PG is a demonstration, but the great thing is that you find yourself using it, and that = rad. Check out some demonstrations on youtube, you’ll find them pretty effective and absolutly cool.
Speaking of rad, NAGA in SLC March 2nd…be there or be square….or better yet, be traingle…or triangle someone else! Out.
